Heartbeat
by Naku-of-the-Knight
Summary: I wish I had what my counterpart had, friends; his love, Kairi; a heart...what would it like for me to have a heart? What kind of sound would it make? How would it feel under my fingertips? Would it feel weird?  Eventual RikuRoku
1. Chapter 1

Naku: -hides under magical desk- This is a peace offering until I can write in my other stories~

* * *

><p><span>I've been used so many times...to the point that I don't give a damn anymore.<span>

"Hey Roxas," Roxas looked up with an emotionless face toward the red-haired man,

"Hi Axel," He muttered, returning to the book in his lap and Demyx strummed his sitar, a small serene smile plastered on his face. Axel flopped ungracefully next to Roxas and peered over his shoulder,

"Whatcha reading there, Roxy?" He asked, blinking up to the blonde.

"Something," He muttered back.

It's just a damn act, this niceness that these people have been giving me.

Axel scratched the back of his neck before looking at Demyx, who looked over and shrugged. "Roxas," Axel said gently, placing a hand on the smaller boy's shoulder. "You okay?" Roxas looked up with a fake smile causing the other to flinch.

"I'm just fine, Axel, now will you leave me alone?"

I wish I had what my counterpart had, friends; his love, Kairi; a heart...what would it like for me to have a heart?

Roxas closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair; "I'm sorry..." He apologized and Axel let out a soft smile.

"It's alright, we know how much you've been working your ass off, killing those heartless and all," Axel commented scratching his cheek.

What kind of sound would it make?

"Yeah..." Roxas muttered. Demyx shifted uncomfortably as a strange aura set in as Roxas slowly placed his hand over where his heart would have been. Axel watched with a raised eyebrow as Roxas gently stroked the black silk of the uniform.

How would it feel under my fingertips? Would it feel weird?

"Roxas..." Axel breathed out as he pulled Roxas's hand away from his chest gently. "You do remember that you're a nobody, right? You don't have one..." Tears filled Roxas's eyes as he closed his hand into a fist,

That's right...I'm...I'm not supposed to even exist...

Demyx placed his sitar down before walking over and sitting down next to Roxas and rubbing small circles in his back. Roxas snatched his hand back from Axel's grasp, his bangs covering his tear-stained azure eyes. "I know I don't have one!" Roxas growled out. "Why do you have to remind me!" Axel blinked at the reaction, his hand still extended as if Roxas's hand was still in his palm. Demyx sent the red-haired superior a glare before mouthing 'Good job slick'. Axel smiled sheepishly before looking at Roxas's sad face,

"I'm sorry," He replied.

"No you're not!" Roxas scruntched up his uniform. "You don't know what forgiveness is! You don't know anything! Because none of you guys have hearts either!"

We're all not meant to be here...we're...

"Roxas," Demyx said gently, still rubbing soft circles in his back.

We're...

"Roxas..." Axel muttered.

We're...

"Nothing..."


	2. Chapter 2

_The Clock Tower always brought good memories..._

Roxas unwrapped the icecream from its silver confinements, sticking it into his mouth as he watched the sun slowly inch its way under the horizon.

_But...also...not some very good ones..._

A soft wind blew its way, softly kissing his cheeks as he closed his eyes feeling the ray's warmth surround him as he licked at the sweet-salty treat. He tried to suppress the saddening memories but they always resurfaced, mocking and teasing him.

_Xion...where are you now? Are you in a good place? _

Roxas snapped his eyes open and watched the sky swirl with pinks, oranges and bits of purple. He placed his hand on his chest,

_Can you feel your heartbeat now?_

Roxas's frown deepened, before looking to the floor below. The three kids that he usually saw hanging out around Twilight Town were laughing and talking happily as they sat in a circle on the floor.

_They're shoving their happiness in my face...Xion, I wish you were here..._

Roxas looked at the melting blue ice cream, slowly losing appetite before letting the ice cream slip off the stick, it splattered on the floor, the kids looked up to the tower and saw a blonde kid looking down at them.

"Who's that?" The girl asked looking at the other two kids. The brown haired boy looked over and shrugged.

"I don't know never seen him before," He replied, taking a bite of his ice cream and reeling back with a shriek, "Ahh too cold, too cold," He yelled, holding his jaw. The blonde boy threw his head back and laughed before standing up.

"Maybe we should say hi? Right? New friends mean new teammates to beat Seifer, right?" The girl sighed,

"Is that all you want? To gain new friends for your own benefit, Hayner?" The girl grumbled, resting her chin on her palm. The newly named Hayner pointed at the girl with a silly grin.

"Exactly Olette, Pence!" The brown haired boy stood up and saluted.

"Sir, yes sir!"

"Let's start Operation: Let's Get A New Friend To Beat Seifer! Or the LGANFTBS!" Hayner fist pumped and Olette let out an irritated sigh.

_Xion..._

Roxas shifted his gaze to the darkened sky, fiddling with the stick of the uneaten icecream on his lap. He let out a sigh, "Hi there! You look lonely!" Roxas looked over his shoulder to see the three kids; he stared at them with a blank expression. "I'm Hayner, this is Olette," The boy jutted his finger to the girl, who smiled shyly and waved. "And Pence," The brown haired boy smiled and gave a thumbs up. "What's yours?" Hayner asked as he sat beside Roxas,

"Roxas," Roxas breathed out, not meeting Hayner's gaze as he let go of the stick, he watched it fall and it made a soft noise as it collided with the floor.

"Roxas, huh? Pretty awesome name!" Hayner complimented, "But of course not as awesome as **my **name!" Olette slapped the back of Hayner's head,

"Hey! Don't brag in front of people you just met that's just rude!" Olette snapped as Hayner rubbed the back of his head while animated tears fell down his cheeks.

"Why Olette…why…?" He whimpered and Olette huffed, causing Roxas to smile slightly at their quarrel.

"It's true, Hayner, you will drive people away with your 'modesty'." Pence laughed sitting on the other side of Roxas,

"I don't think it's even called modesty, Pence," Olette grumbled sitting next to Hayner.

"You guys are such meanies!" Hayner whined. "It **is **modesty!"

"It is modesty," Roxas muttered causing them all to look at him. Hayner blinked once or twice,

"AW! I NOW HAVE A BEST FRIEND!" Hayner cried, pulling Roxas in a bone-crushing hug.

"H-hey! What do you mean! I thought I was your best friend!" Pence flailed.

"That was before that rude comment, now Roxas is my best friend!" Hayner stuck out his tongue out at the other boy.

_Best…friend…? Are there actually ranks for friendship?_

"You want to be his friend, Roxas?" Olette blinked looking at Roxas, "'Cause he's not going to leave you alone once you say yes…" Roxas blinked confused up to this point.

_B…but…I barely met him…all of them to be exact…_

"So what do you say, Roxas; my man? Want to be my best friend?" Hayner smiled waiting for an answer. Roxas opened his mouth; ready to answer when Axel came behind him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Roxas, knew you'll be here," Axel smiled and the three kids stared at the red-haired man in awe. "Just came to pick you up, it's pretty dark," Roxas blinked before noticing it was actually super dark before looking at Axel.

"Sorry, I didn't notice," Roxas stood up before looking at the three kids, "I got to go, it was nice meeting you…Hayner, Pence and Olette…" He muttered before following Axel.

"I see you made some acquaintances," Axel smiled, looking down to the blonde.

"Not acquaintances, Axel…they're friends of mine…"


	3. Chapter 3

Riku looked at the sleeping face of his best friend that was sleeping his chamber that Naminé put him in. He frowned, before looking at the blonde girl who was drawing in her notebook, her eyes transfixed on the paper. "Where is he now?" Riku asked, walking over and sitting on the chair next to her.

"He went back into Castle Oblivion with Axel," Naminé said softly, "He just met Hayner, Pence and Olette,"

"When can I take him back to Sora?" Riku asked fisting the table cover, Naminé put a hand on his fist,

"I know you're ready to bring Roxas here and force him back into Sora but he must do it in his own terms…because if he does it unwillingly then Sora's heart will break into two and Sora will never wake up…" Naminé said gently, Riku chewed on his lower lip and fisted his Organization XIII's uniform.

"Can at least talk to him? Make him want to return? I mean that girl Xion went back willingly once I talked to her," He muttered.

"That's quite true," Naminé said, "But Roxas is now learning how to make his own feelings…he longs for feelings, affection…acceptance, to the Organization he's just a tool to create Kingdom Hearts, if you rush into things like you did with Xion, Roxas would push you away,"

"Why?" Riku growled, looking at the girl who starting drawing a new picture,

"Roxas desires to make his own decision, if you give him that…maybe just maybe…he'll come back willingly…"

* * *

><p><em>Is Axel, my friend?<em>

Roxas looked at Axel from over his book, as the red-haired man was arm-wrestling Xigbar with a smirk on his face when he noticed he was winning.

_He's always been there for me…_

Demyx was strumming his sitar, sitting next to Roxas and his feet were inclined on Roxas's lap; not that Roxas mind, he was used to Demyx and his weird way of putting his feet up. Roxas laid his book on top of Demyx's legs as he continued reading.

_Is Demyx, my friend?_

Roxas shifted his eyes to where Demyx was happily playing with his eyes closed.

_I guess I could call him that; he's always been like a big brother to me, the same with Axel. Can your friends also be like siblings?_

Roxas returned his gaze to the book, shifting under Demyx's legs, to make him more comfortable as he read quietly, his lips pursed into a tight line as he thought about these things.

_Is anyone else in the Organization my friend?_

"Roxas," Roxas lifted his head to see Saïx walking in with the same expression he was wearing. "I need you to go on a mission," Roxas stood up mechanically, putting the book down and setting Demyx's feet back onto the couch causing Demyx to pout.

"Aw, Saïx! You just made me lose my leg recliner!" Saïx pursed his lips,

"There's more to life than reclining, which is why you now have a mission as well," Demyx gaped at the blue-haired man. "Roxas, you need to go to Twilight Town, it seems like there's a big Heartless over there, and Demyx, you need to head over to Wonderland to do some recon,"

"WHA? But I hate that place!" Demyx whined.

"Too bad, get going the both of you,"


End file.
